is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
