do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
