I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize