Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
