I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
