So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
