Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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