Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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