I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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