So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
