We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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