gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
