I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
