hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A+ Viking dick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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