it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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