also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
