don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
