i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
