just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
