I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
