yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
