Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
