I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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