As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
