Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
