How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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