She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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