Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
