You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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