So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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