I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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