I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
