Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This toilet bowl is my home.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
