Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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