none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
