At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I want to fling myself into the sun
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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