On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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