the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
