I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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