you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
