Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
