We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
