I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
