Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
