dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
