do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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