Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
