Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We have so much sex to catch up on
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
