my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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