It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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