The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
bring money and cleavage
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
