So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Randomize
