he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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