True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
