I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
