Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
