i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
