If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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