Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
