Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
