no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
