My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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