your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That's intense
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
