Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
too bad you live with your parents still
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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