; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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