Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
