I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
